Too cool for school? There's nothing wrong with that!

Hello lovely souls!

Today's to post I want to focus on the importance of being okay with wherever you are in your life journey, specifically for those of us who decided to take a break from school or not go at all.

Depending on what you want to do, going to school can take anywhere from a year (for a certificate) to 12 (Ph.D. stuff), and that's without taking any extra breaks in between. For most of us, the time you dedicate is going to be somewhere in between the one and 12-year marks, which can seem like ALOT of time if the school is something that stresses you out. And let's be real, if you're not stressed out in school you're either some kind of genius or you're a Zen master. If you're not either of those (ooor even if you are) you're probably stressed out on some level.

Which is okay!

Being stressed is a normal part of life, and resisting the feeling of stress most likely will just make you feel more stressed.

However, what is not okay is thinking you have to have it all figured out. You don't.

People all live their lives so differently, and even though it seems like society is pressuring you to live in the conventional mold, the truth is there is no right or wrong way to live. As long as you're not hurting yourself or others, you do you! Seriously.

If you're in school and it's too much, take a break! If you find your passion is volunteering and you want to join the peace corps, do that! If doing art, photography, writing, or anything of the sort makes you happy, do whatever you can to get exposure to do that, and do it! Do you get what I'm saying here?

Going to school is wonderful, but so is not going to school, or taking a breather. Honestly, be smart about whatever you decide to do, and do what makes you happy.

At the end of the day, you'll look back at your life and think about the decisions you made. And pardon my french, but they don't mean shit if you didn't get happiness from them.

Sometimes we can feel guilty for not doing what our loved ones want for us. But at some point, there comes a time where we have to be responsible for our own choices and experience. Others aren't the ones who have to experience our life first hand, so why are we living our life as if it's somebody else's? It doesn't make sense. AND by making choices that make you happy, you are therefore making the world a better place because YOU are an important part of the world. That on top ofthe fact that when you are happier, you treat the people you come into contact with better because you have to energy to do so! Which is a win-win for everyone.

So don't feel guilty for any reason. Being happy and loving yourself is the best way to love others, and is a great start to making the world a better place!

Sending you love and light,

Ashley

love yo' self

hey lovelies,

You know what absolutely sucks? Feeling like you suck. 

*Disclaimer, you don't*

This week has been such a roller-coaster for me. One day I feel like I'm on top of the world, that the endless supply of love that there is in the universe is held right in my heart. The next day, or even sometimes an hour after I feel all that love, I'll feel so empty, like I'll never feel love again. It makes zero sense. And that's because feeling bad about yourself doesn't. It's bullshit. We just shouldn't do it. But we all know if it was that easy, anxiety wouldn't be a thing.

If you struggle with this, my advice to you (and myself) is this: Do the things you love. 

I know that sounds kind of basic and cliche, but it works wonders. Today, I was texting one of my good friends about my not so good day. I told them I would get out of my anxiety even though today it was killer (speak it into existence, amiright). They liked my optimism, and asked me how I usually get out of these moods, and what helps me feel better. Instead of saying my usual yoga, meditation, positive self talk script that I give to myself and others all the time, I actually thought about it. Not that yoga and meditation and being nice to yourself aren't good for you, they're great, but they usually work for me when I'm not already in a funk. What does get me out of my funk is dancing, singing, blasting my jams, and painting. Like all at once. I've never been upset when I was creating something, it's a surefire way for me to get out of my head and live in the moment. So far, anyways. 

If there's something you love doing, that brings your vibe up whenever you do it, go out there and do it! Unless it's hard drugs or something, don't do that. That's not the kind of high we're striving for here. If you love bike riding, god damn it grab that bike! Or cooking, writing, doing nice things for the people you love. Whatever it is that makes your soul happy, go after it. Especially if you have a bunch of responsibilities to take care of. I find that I can't focus on anything if my mind won't stop hurling insults at me. Taking a break can, and probably will, make you more productive.

Anyways, I hope you all have a beautiful day! Feel good about yourself, you are literally made out of stardust. And, as a reminder, taking care of yourself is not selfish, but self-less. We are our best selves to others when we are to ourselves. 

peace and happiness,

ashley 

domiNOs

Hello lovelies!

Sooooo earlier last week my roommate and I wanted pizza one night, and we started a phone order, but the man over the phone was confused, so we ordered online instead.  

Fast forward, we picked up our order and then started walking over to hang out with some of her friends across campus.. Then my roommate and I both start getting phone calls from Dominos, a very angry worker starts barking at us to come pay for our pizza, even though we already did?

We soon figured out that the man over the phone put our order through even though we never completed the order. I explained the situation to the man calmly, but he was extremely rude and ended up hanging up on me in the middle of me speaking. He called me again a few minutes later and told me aggressively that I had to come meet him and pay for the extra order, (and don’t judge me for this I swear I usually don’t act like one of those angry soccer moms) I raised my voice and went on a long rant about how people should treat others and how he wasn’t being a very nice or kind person. And, what a surprise, he hung up on me again.

I was pretty wound up after that happened, we walked a good ways across campus when we first got the phone calls, and started walking back to our dorm when we thought we hadn’t paid for our order (even though we had.) I was a mess and was extremely stressed out.

So, how did I deal with all of this pent up stress?

The first thing I did was sit down. I took a small breather (deep breathing is extremely helpful with reducing the amount of stress and anxiety you feel, I’ll do an entire blog post about that later.)

Then, I called my boyfriend and explained everything that happened to me that night. Talking to people you love, trust, and know will be supporting and understanding of you is very helpful in reducing stress. Having someone there to listen to your problems makes them easier to take on.

After I was done talking on the phone, I decided to relax in my room instead of going out with my roommate. I was still so wound up from everything that happened. Going out would not have wound me up even more when I really just needed time to myself to decompress and relax. I started to feel bad because I didn’t go through with my plans (which is really not a healthy way to think.) I had to remind myself that going out while I was stressed out wouldn’t be fun for the people I was going to hang out with or for myself, so staying in was actually not selfish at all.

When I got to my room I snuggled up under some blankets and journaled about how I felt about the disaster that was my Wednesday night. Journaling in general, but especially after a traumatic or stressful event lets you get your feelings out in an organized way so they’re not stuck in your head making circles around themselves. Or if the thoughts do stick around after are usually not as jumbled and not as constant, so you are still left with some peace of mind.

After journaling, I put on a video from my favorite youtuber, reminding me to stay positive. It's always good to watch any kind of feel good shizz nit AFTER acknowledging the negative emotions stress can bring on, so that you don't repress those feelings just for them to come back later. I left the video near the bottom of the page if anyone needs some encouragement to be positive! Ralph Smart has some great videos about positivity and self help, I definitely recommend checking his channel out (:

Oh, and I almost forgot...I ate the shit outta that pizza!!!!  (although I wouldn’t always recommend eating your feelings, the freshman fifteen is real man)

Before I leave you, always remember self care is selfless and to do it whenever you feel it’s necessary.

Have an amazing week!