Too cool for school? There's nothing wrong with that!

Hello lovely souls!

Today's to post I want to focus on the importance of being okay with wherever you are in your life journey, specifically for those of us who decided to take a break from school or not go at all.

Depending on what you want to do, going to school can take anywhere from a year (for a certificate) to 12 (Ph.D. stuff), and that's without taking any extra breaks in between. For most of us, the time you dedicate is going to be somewhere in between the one and 12-year marks, which can seem like ALOT of time if the school is something that stresses you out. And let's be real, if you're not stressed out in school you're either some kind of genius or you're a Zen master. If you're not either of those (ooor even if you are) you're probably stressed out on some level.

Which is okay!

Being stressed is a normal part of life, and resisting the feeling of stress most likely will just make you feel more stressed.

However, what is not okay is thinking you have to have it all figured out. You don't.

People all live their lives so differently, and even though it seems like society is pressuring you to live in the conventional mold, the truth is there is no right or wrong way to live. As long as you're not hurting yourself or others, you do you! Seriously.

If you're in school and it's too much, take a break! If you find your passion is volunteering and you want to join the peace corps, do that! If doing art, photography, writing, or anything of the sort makes you happy, do whatever you can to get exposure to do that, and do it! Do you get what I'm saying here?

Going to school is wonderful, but so is not going to school, or taking a breather. Honestly, be smart about whatever you decide to do, and do what makes you happy.

At the end of the day, you'll look back at your life and think about the decisions you made. And pardon my french, but they don't mean shit if you didn't get happiness from them.

Sometimes we can feel guilty for not doing what our loved ones want for us. But at some point, there comes a time where we have to be responsible for our own choices and experience. Others aren't the ones who have to experience our life first hand, so why are we living our life as if it's somebody else's? It doesn't make sense. AND by making choices that make you happy, you are therefore making the world a better place because YOU are an important part of the world. That on top ofthe fact that when you are happier, you treat the people you come into contact with better because you have to energy to do so! Which is a win-win for everyone.

So don't feel guilty for any reason. Being happy and loving yourself is the best way to love others, and is a great start to making the world a better place!

Sending you love and light,

Ashley

love yo' self

hey lovelies,

You know what absolutely sucks? Feeling like you suck. 

*Disclaimer, you don't*

This week has been such a roller-coaster for me. One day I feel like I'm on top of the world, that the endless supply of love that there is in the universe is held right in my heart. The next day, or even sometimes an hour after I feel all that love, I'll feel so empty, like I'll never feel love again. It makes zero sense. And that's because feeling bad about yourself doesn't. It's bullshit. We just shouldn't do it. But we all know if it was that easy, anxiety wouldn't be a thing.

If you struggle with this, my advice to you (and myself) is this: Do the things you love. 

I know that sounds kind of basic and cliche, but it works wonders. Today, I was texting one of my good friends about my not so good day. I told them I would get out of my anxiety even though today it was killer (speak it into existence, amiright). They liked my optimism, and asked me how I usually get out of these moods, and what helps me feel better. Instead of saying my usual yoga, meditation, positive self talk script that I give to myself and others all the time, I actually thought about it. Not that yoga and meditation and being nice to yourself aren't good for you, they're great, but they usually work for me when I'm not already in a funk. What does get me out of my funk is dancing, singing, blasting my jams, and painting. Like all at once. I've never been upset when I was creating something, it's a surefire way for me to get out of my head and live in the moment. So far, anyways. 

If there's something you love doing, that brings your vibe up whenever you do it, go out there and do it! Unless it's hard drugs or something, don't do that. That's not the kind of high we're striving for here. If you love bike riding, god damn it grab that bike! Or cooking, writing, doing nice things for the people you love. Whatever it is that makes your soul happy, go after it. Especially if you have a bunch of responsibilities to take care of. I find that I can't focus on anything if my mind won't stop hurling insults at me. Taking a break can, and probably will, make you more productive.

Anyways, I hope you all have a beautiful day! Feel good about yourself, you are literally made out of stardust. And, as a reminder, taking care of yourself is not selfish, but self-less. We are our best selves to others when we are to ourselves. 

peace and happiness,

ashley 

Social Anxiety, Get Outta Here

Hey lovelies,

This week I wanted to write about something I have struggled with for most of my life, something I feel most of us have felt at one point of our lives. Social anxiety.

In college, we are constantly surrounded by people. Waking up, there's your roommate, sleeping across from you. Going to brush your teeth, there's your friend from across the hall. Going to get dinner, people from all five of your classes. There. Are. People. Everywhere.

Not that seeing friends or acquaintances often is a bad thing, sometimes you just need a break. In college, there never seems to be time for breaks. The cycle of conversations seems to be never-ending.

With this post, I'll share techniques that have proved helpful for me with my social anxiety. Hopefully some, if not all, of these are helpful for you!

DISCLAIMER: This post will probably make me seem like I am this huge ball of anxiety, which is absolutely NOT true (most of the time, anyways lol)

For what seems like my whole life, I’ve struggled with anxiety, both in social settings and in a more general sense. There’s been times where it got worse or better, but in some capacity it has always been there. When I’m having one of my bad days, I get in my head over everything I say or do. I tell myself I’m not good enough, that my friends don’t love me, that I’m weird and just shouldn’t talk. None of those things are true, but telling myself that doesn’t help my anxiety lessen. Trying to rationalize anxiety is a very irrational thing to do, because anxiety is not rational in nature. To fight my anxiety, doing things that nourish my body and spirit really helps me.

While I'm in a social situation that is taxing to me, I do deep breathing (nonchalantly, in a way people can't tell). Slowing down my breathing helps calm my body and mind and is a simple easy way to calm down any jitters you may have.

Essential Oils have been SUPER helpful for me. I keep a small travel bottle with me at all times, and when I am feeling overwhelmed in a social setting, I will excuse myself to somewhere secluded and pull out the oils. You can either keep an actual small bottle with you and drop some onto your wrists and below your nose, or keep a plastic tube (what I have) that stores the oils in them. You pull out the tube that is holding the oils, and either smell inside of the bottle or the tube itself. This has been amazing for calming me down when I feel overwhelmed.

So far, when I am in social settings themselves, these have been the only things that have proven helpful to me. I'll share some things I do either before or after social events that have calmed the pre or post social anxiety jitters.

What calms me when I’m struggling with never ending thoughts is meditation. People usually think that meditation involves not thinking at all by forcing yourself into a calm state. Forcing yourself not to think is a thought itself. True meditation involves sitting in peace with your thoughts, not controlling what you do or don’t think, not judging yourself, and by letting everything be. Just because a thought enters your mind does not mean you need to associate with it. You are so much more than your thoughts. Personally, I like to listen to guided meditations because they give me, sometimes it is hard for my mind not to race. Here is one of my favorite meditations to do when I feel overwhelmed, I hope this help anyone who is struggling!

On the other end of the spectrum, being active also really helps me fight my anxiety. Personally, I love doing yoga (as some of you probably already know from previous blogs). Being active allows me to release any anxious jitters I may have, and usually gets me into a relaxed mind state when I allow myself to exercise long enough.

I hope you all have an amazing rest of your week, and never feel bad for taking the time you need to take care of yourself! Peace!

FINALly be able to handle finals week

Hello lovelies!

Most of us are crazy stressed with final projects, essays, and studying for finals themselves. And if you're not stressed, you're probably lying, let's be real (;

I wanted to focus this weeks blog on ways to cope with end of semester stress, studying tips that have shown helpful to me, and how to gather the strength to tell people no to hanging out when you have papers to work on.

This week has been ridiculously stressful for me, I have so many essays that are all due around the same time, and trying to juggle everything is something I'm getting better at, but I am by no means perfect at it.

What has been proven helpful to me is scheduling my time. I don't even mean an exact schedule, but a loose outline of what you'd like to accomplish in a day, and general time-frames when you'd like to get things done. This way, you don't put too much pressure on yourself, and are able to

When experiencing anxiety about due dates and the actual work that has to be done for projects, often my mind gets foggy and it's almost impossible for me to have coherent thoughts. This leads to sloppy work being done. Whenever you find yourself overwhelmed about schoolwork, I find it better to solve the anxiety by doing things to take care of yourself. For me that involves yoga, meditation, journaling, but what is usually most helpful is taking naps. Naps work best for me at this point in my life because I never get enough sleep, and I need a lot of it to be able to function. Do whatever you think is best for your mind, body, and spirit to get the rest it needs. I am so much more productive when I take care of myself, as most people are. Taking the time to take care of yourself doesn't waste time that could be used for studying, it makes your studying much more worthwhile.

Lastly, don't feel bad saying no to people when you need to use that time for studying, or for taking care of yourself. I find myself tired so often lately, I am constantly around people or constantly studying. I never really have alone time, so when friends ask me to go out after a long day of being at school and studying, I feel so bad saying no. Never feel bad for taking care of yourself! Yesterday I had a very full day of four classes, a doctors appointment, and working on papers. My friend asked me to go out with her around 11, but I knew I wouldn't be able to enjoy it or be able to function in the morning. I almost said yes, but I had to remind myself saying no isn't selfish. Being good to myself allows me to be good to others. Selfless, not selfish.

I wish you all luck with your upcoming finals, never forget about yourself in the madness that is finals week. Peace <3

StuDYING Habits

Hello lovelies!

With midterms coming up, many of us are extremely stressed and overwhelmed. Trying to keep up with papers, presentations, and work (if you currently have a job), can be very hard. When we take on too much at once, like taking extra classes or working a job that gives too many hours, we want to be productive, however, this often does the opposite, making people shut down and get very little accomplished.

This week, I'd like to go over helpful study habits I have found helpful for me, and ones that have hurt me rather than helped me.

I usually study with my friends around, and I feel like that is both helpful and hurtful to me. Depending on the friends I study with, and what is going on with our friend group when we hang out, determines how productive or unproductive I am. I find it best to study with friends that I see often enough where we don't feel like we need to catch up, so we can focus on our work rather than each other. It is also good to study with friends that know when it is appropriate to talk, and when to focus on doing work. If I don't go with the right group of people, sometimes we will spend the whole time talking, and I end up drowning in more work.

Studying in my room is also something that kills my productivity. When I'm in my room, I am distracted by wanting to talk with my roommates(we're all friends so it can make focusing on studying hard) and by having my bed and books so close, it makes me tempted to read and nap. I find that going somewhere off campus really forces me to study, because I am far from most possible distractions that keep me from my work. 
I
Also, never feel guilty if you need to cancel studying or hanging out with friends if you need some alone time to study. You are in college to get a degree and do well, so it would be a huge disservice to yourself to not focus on the things you need to do for you!

Until next time, have a beautiful week!

Say No To Drugs, Not Naps (I actually don't mind the drugs so much, just get enough rest plz)

Hey guys!

This week I thought it would be a good reminder for everyone to talk about how important it is to be well rested. With midterms coming up, there has been more and more homework and studying to do that has been piling up (at least it has been for me), and that leads to staying up late getting work done, or waking up early, scrambling before class to do it. Sometimes both.

This is why it's so very important to get the at least the minimum amount of sleep you need to feel well rested. This post is probably gonna sound like a rant from that one grandma in your family whose hobby is nagging others lol, but I feel like many times we get so caught up hanging out with people or over-working ourselves that we forget to do the basic things we need to do to take care of ourselves.

Personally, I need like 10 hours of sleep to be able to function, and this can be extremely hard to get overnight. This is why lately I've been taking so many naps, and it's been so good for my well-being and productivity.

Lately, when I have been napping, I've been missing out on hanging out with friends. Which is something I generally feel bad about, but I have to remind myself that it's not selfish to sleep if you can't function. So if you ever feel too tired to go out, don't feel bad for staying in! You should literally do nothing, nap, and give yourself a break! It's much needed sometimes, and if you have good friends, they'll definitely understand. (:

Have a wonderful week lovelies!

Food for thought? Remember to eat!

Hello lovelies! 

This week I wanted to write about something I've been struggling with over the past few weeks, an issue I feel many college students experience. It can be really hard to remember to take care of ourselves throughout our busy days, with classes, homework and studying, there seems like there is hardly any free time we can have for ourselves. While juggling everything, I often times forget to eat. I'll go throughout an entire day only have eaten an apple and a granola bar. And at the end of the day when I get to my dorm, I won't have any food waiting for me! The Dining commons closes early, and the freshman meal plan I am on doesn't really give me money to eat anywhere else on campus.

Summary: It can be extremely hard to eat when you're busy all day and when places to eat on campus close early. So, many times, we just don't. Which is extremely unhealthy.

This is especially bad for students who are already struggling with eating disorders. It gives these students a reason to not eat, makes their fight against their disorder more difficult, and is an uphill battle. 

I have come up with a few solutions to this issue, and if this is something you struggle with, I hope this list is helpful for you!

1. Get a refrigerator and a microwave : This seems pretty obvious, but I thought I'd put it out there anyways. Having a fridge allows you to take home any leftovers you have, and the microwave allows you to have them nice and warm! (I know it's extremely obvious buuuut I feel like someone out there may need to hear this lol)
2. After eating at the Dining Commons, if your school has to-go meals, grab one to take to your dorm! : This is advice that my uncle recently gave me, and it's brilliant. Just take the to-go meal and put it in your fridge! It reduces the amount of time you have to take to walk to get a meal, the effort of walking more than you have to, and you have food waiting for you when you get back to your dorm.
3. Sign up for amazon's grocery subscription : Have food delivered to your college on a monthly basis, and save money! This saves the time and energy of going to a grocery store (plus, if you don't have a car, it can be hard to get to one) Plus, when you sign up for a monthly subscription of your fav snacks, you save 15%
4. Sign up for any kind of food rewards program you can : I know many pizza places have rewards accounts where you can get free pizzas, grocery stores have point rewards system, and target does 5% cash back when you use your red card (You can even connect it to your bank account and use it as debit, it doesn't have to be credit)

I hope this post was helpful for you! Always remember to be good to yourself, self-care is not selfish, and of course, to eat! Have a beautiful rest of your week, peace! (:

Sacred Spaces

Hello lovelies!

I hope you all are having an amazing week! This post I wanted to focus on how important it is to have your very own sacred space. What I mean by sacred space is an area that you feel safe enough in to completely be yourself, where you can unwind and feel totally free to be you.

Transitioning into college life is so stressful because most of us are accustomed to having our own "sacred spaces" growing up. Most often, it's usually our bedroom, but can be any area of our home where we feel comfortable enough to just be. If you live on campus, unless you are living in a single, the privacy and comfort of having your own space is suddenly ripped away from you. You are alone, yet surrounded by people, trying to feel comfortable in a new place without the support of any kind of familiarity.

There are so many different little things you can do to make your area of your dorm feel more comfortable to you, to make you feel as much at home that you can in a foreign environment. Putting things up in your dorm that make you happy is so important, especially since most of us have to share our room, your room might not feel like you belong there, like it's not your space. Making the most out of the small space that IS yours in your dorm is so insanely important to feeling comfortable in your own skin, expressing yourself in your dorm helps give you the confidence to be comfortable being yourself to the rest of the world. Putting up pictures also helps if you feel disconnected from the world around you, giving you reminders of the people you love, helping to ground you when you feel lost and alone. Any little thing you can do to your room is important to making the space in your room your own, filling a bookshelf with your favorite books, putting up artwork from your favorite photographer, if you are part of a fandom bringing that into the decor of your room, literally anything that you can think of that brings you a sense of comfort, put up.

I hope some of my ideas sparked up some inspiration to make your dorms feel more like your own space! Have a wonderful rest of your week, peace (:

You gotta do the Yoga

Hey guys (:

So this week I'd like to talk about one of my absolute favoriteee things to do when I'm stressed out: yoga! Yoga allows people to focus on the present moment and reduces the amount of time the mind wanders (most anxiety and stress stems from worrying about future events). It definitely helps me with mine, and I hope my list helps you with yours!

1. Child's Pose - child's pose is a resting pose, it is easy for beginners and I usually start and/or end a yoga sequence with this pose. To do this pose, kneel on the floor with your feet together and sit on your heels. Then exhale and lay down, putting your torso between your knees. Stretch out your hands to the top of the yoga mat, staying in that pose for at least 30 seconds. I like to stretch out both sides of my back by reaching my hands to the left and then reaching them to the right.
   
2. Downward Facing dog - this pose is pretty easy as well, and releases so much stress! For downward facing dog, start standing with your hands reaching up to the sky. Then, bend over and place your hands on the ground. Hold this pose for at least one minute. If this stretch is too hard at first, try alternating what leg you are actively standing on. To do this, bend one leg forward while standing on the other leg, and switch until you feel comfortable. 
   
3. Standing Forward Fold (Uttanasana) - standing forward fold is great for quieting a restless mind. To do this pose, bend your knees and lean forward, putting your hands in front of or alongside your feet. Shift your weight to the balls of your feet, tighten your legs by straightening them. Grab each elbow and hold this position for a few breaths (or longer, whatever works for you!)
   

These are some of my favorite poses to reduce stress, and there are so many more out there! I recommend checking out the YouTube channel Boho Beautiful for yoga sequences you can do from your dorm room! Their videos are high quality, and they have yoga sequences put together for beginners so if you're thinking about getting into yoga they're super helpful! Oh, and not to mention it's completely free!

I hope you all have a beautiful week, peace (:

domiNOs

Hello lovelies!

Sooooo earlier last week my roommate and I wanted pizza one night, and we started a phone order, but the man over the phone was confused, so we ordered online instead.  

Fast forward, we picked up our order and then started walking over to hang out with some of her friends across campus.. Then my roommate and I both start getting phone calls from Dominos, a very angry worker starts barking at us to come pay for our pizza, even though we already did?

We soon figured out that the man over the phone put our order through even though we never completed the order. I explained the situation to the man calmly, but he was extremely rude and ended up hanging up on me in the middle of me speaking. He called me again a few minutes later and told me aggressively that I had to come meet him and pay for the extra order, (and don’t judge me for this I swear I usually don’t act like one of those angry soccer moms) I raised my voice and went on a long rant about how people should treat others and how he wasn’t being a very nice or kind person. And, what a surprise, he hung up on me again.

I was pretty wound up after that happened, we walked a good ways across campus when we first got the phone calls, and started walking back to our dorm when we thought we hadn’t paid for our order (even though we had.) I was a mess and was extremely stressed out.

So, how did I deal with all of this pent up stress?

The first thing I did was sit down. I took a small breather (deep breathing is extremely helpful with reducing the amount of stress and anxiety you feel, I’ll do an entire blog post about that later.)

Then, I called my boyfriend and explained everything that happened to me that night. Talking to people you love, trust, and know will be supporting and understanding of you is very helpful in reducing stress. Having someone there to listen to your problems makes them easier to take on.

After I was done talking on the phone, I decided to relax in my room instead of going out with my roommate. I was still so wound up from everything that happened. Going out would not have wound me up even more when I really just needed time to myself to decompress and relax. I started to feel bad because I didn’t go through with my plans (which is really not a healthy way to think.) I had to remind myself that going out while I was stressed out wouldn’t be fun for the people I was going to hang out with or for myself, so staying in was actually not selfish at all.

When I got to my room I snuggled up under some blankets and journaled about how I felt about the disaster that was my Wednesday night. Journaling in general, but especially after a traumatic or stressful event lets you get your feelings out in an organized way so they’re not stuck in your head making circles around themselves. Or if the thoughts do stick around after are usually not as jumbled and not as constant, so you are still left with some peace of mind.

After journaling, I put on a video from my favorite youtuber, reminding me to stay positive. It's always good to watch any kind of feel good shizz nit AFTER acknowledging the negative emotions stress can bring on, so that you don't repress those feelings just for them to come back later. I left the video near the bottom of the page if anyone needs some encouragement to be positive! Ralph Smart has some great videos about positivity and self help, I definitely recommend checking his channel out (:

Oh, and I almost forgot...I ate the shit outta that pizza!!!!  (although I wouldn’t always recommend eating your feelings, the freshman fifteen is real man)

Before I leave you, always remember self care is selfless and to do it whenever you feel it’s necessary.

Have an amazing week!