Too cool for school? There's nothing wrong with that!

Hello lovely souls!

Today's to post I want to focus on the importance of being okay with wherever you are in your life journey, specifically for those of us who decided to take a break from school or not go at all.

Depending on what you want to do, going to school can take anywhere from a year (for a certificate) to 12 (Ph.D. stuff), and that's without taking any extra breaks in between. For most of us, the time you dedicate is going to be somewhere in between the one and 12-year marks, which can seem like ALOT of time if the school is something that stresses you out. And let's be real, if you're not stressed out in school you're either some kind of genius or you're a Zen master. If you're not either of those (ooor even if you are) you're probably stressed out on some level.

Which is okay!

Being stressed is a normal part of life, and resisting the feeling of stress most likely will just make you feel more stressed.

However, what is not okay is thinking you have to have it all figured out. You don't.

People all live their lives so differently, and even though it seems like society is pressuring you to live in the conventional mold, the truth is there is no right or wrong way to live. As long as you're not hurting yourself or others, you do you! Seriously.

If you're in school and it's too much, take a break! If you find your passion is volunteering and you want to join the peace corps, do that! If doing art, photography, writing, or anything of the sort makes you happy, do whatever you can to get exposure to do that, and do it! Do you get what I'm saying here?

Going to school is wonderful, but so is not going to school, or taking a breather. Honestly, be smart about whatever you decide to do, and do what makes you happy.

At the end of the day, you'll look back at your life and think about the decisions you made. And pardon my french, but they don't mean shit if you didn't get happiness from them.

Sometimes we can feel guilty for not doing what our loved ones want for us. But at some point, there comes a time where we have to be responsible for our own choices and experience. Others aren't the ones who have to experience our life first hand, so why are we living our life as if it's somebody else's? It doesn't make sense. AND by making choices that make you happy, you are therefore making the world a better place because YOU are an important part of the world. That on top ofthe fact that when you are happier, you treat the people you come into contact with better because you have to energy to do so! Which is a win-win for everyone.

So don't feel guilty for any reason. Being happy and loving yourself is the best way to love others, and is a great start to making the world a better place!

Sending you love and light,

Ashley

love yo' self

hey lovelies,

You know what absolutely sucks? Feeling like you suck. 

*Disclaimer, you don't*

This week has been such a roller-coaster for me. One day I feel like I'm on top of the world, that the endless supply of love that there is in the universe is held right in my heart. The next day, or even sometimes an hour after I feel all that love, I'll feel so empty, like I'll never feel love again. It makes zero sense. And that's because feeling bad about yourself doesn't. It's bullshit. We just shouldn't do it. But we all know if it was that easy, anxiety wouldn't be a thing.

If you struggle with this, my advice to you (and myself) is this: Do the things you love. 

I know that sounds kind of basic and cliche, but it works wonders. Today, I was texting one of my good friends about my not so good day. I told them I would get out of my anxiety even though today it was killer (speak it into existence, amiright). They liked my optimism, and asked me how I usually get out of these moods, and what helps me feel better. Instead of saying my usual yoga, meditation, positive self talk script that I give to myself and others all the time, I actually thought about it. Not that yoga and meditation and being nice to yourself aren't good for you, they're great, but they usually work for me when I'm not already in a funk. What does get me out of my funk is dancing, singing, blasting my jams, and painting. Like all at once. I've never been upset when I was creating something, it's a surefire way for me to get out of my head and live in the moment. So far, anyways. 

If there's something you love doing, that brings your vibe up whenever you do it, go out there and do it! Unless it's hard drugs or something, don't do that. That's not the kind of high we're striving for here. If you love bike riding, god damn it grab that bike! Or cooking, writing, doing nice things for the people you love. Whatever it is that makes your soul happy, go after it. Especially if you have a bunch of responsibilities to take care of. I find that I can't focus on anything if my mind won't stop hurling insults at me. Taking a break can, and probably will, make you more productive.

Anyways, I hope you all have a beautiful day! Feel good about yourself, you are literally made out of stardust. And, as a reminder, taking care of yourself is not selfish, but self-less. We are our best selves to others when we are to ourselves. 

peace and happiness,

ashley 

Social Anxiety, Get Outta Here

Hey lovelies,

This week I wanted to write about something I have struggled with for most of my life, something I feel most of us have felt at one point of our lives. Social anxiety.

In college, we are constantly surrounded by people. Waking up, there's your roommate, sleeping across from you. Going to brush your teeth, there's your friend from across the hall. Going to get dinner, people from all five of your classes. There. Are. People. Everywhere.

Not that seeing friends or acquaintances often is a bad thing, sometimes you just need a break. In college, there never seems to be time for breaks. The cycle of conversations seems to be never-ending.

With this post, I'll share techniques that have proved helpful for me with my social anxiety. Hopefully some, if not all, of these are helpful for you!

DISCLAIMER: This post will probably make me seem like I am this huge ball of anxiety, which is absolutely NOT true (most of the time, anyways lol)

For what seems like my whole life, I’ve struggled with anxiety, both in social settings and in a more general sense. There’s been times where it got worse or better, but in some capacity it has always been there. When I’m having one of my bad days, I get in my head over everything I say or do. I tell myself I’m not good enough, that my friends don’t love me, that I’m weird and just shouldn’t talk. None of those things are true, but telling myself that doesn’t help my anxiety lessen. Trying to rationalize anxiety is a very irrational thing to do, because anxiety is not rational in nature. To fight my anxiety, doing things that nourish my body and spirit really helps me.

While I'm in a social situation that is taxing to me, I do deep breathing (nonchalantly, in a way people can't tell). Slowing down my breathing helps calm my body and mind and is a simple easy way to calm down any jitters you may have.

Essential Oils have been SUPER helpful for me. I keep a small travel bottle with me at all times, and when I am feeling overwhelmed in a social setting, I will excuse myself to somewhere secluded and pull out the oils. You can either keep an actual small bottle with you and drop some onto your wrists and below your nose, or keep a plastic tube (what I have) that stores the oils in them. You pull out the tube that is holding the oils, and either smell inside of the bottle or the tube itself. This has been amazing for calming me down when I feel overwhelmed.

So far, when I am in social settings themselves, these have been the only things that have proven helpful to me. I'll share some things I do either before or after social events that have calmed the pre or post social anxiety jitters.

What calms me when I’m struggling with never ending thoughts is meditation. People usually think that meditation involves not thinking at all by forcing yourself into a calm state. Forcing yourself not to think is a thought itself. True meditation involves sitting in peace with your thoughts, not controlling what you do or don’t think, not judging yourself, and by letting everything be. Just because a thought enters your mind does not mean you need to associate with it. You are so much more than your thoughts. Personally, I like to listen to guided meditations because they give me, sometimes it is hard for my mind not to race. Here is one of my favorite meditations to do when I feel overwhelmed, I hope this help anyone who is struggling!

On the other end of the spectrum, being active also really helps me fight my anxiety. Personally, I love doing yoga (as some of you probably already know from previous blogs). Being active allows me to release any anxious jitters I may have, and usually gets me into a relaxed mind state when I allow myself to exercise long enough.

I hope you all have an amazing rest of your week, and never feel bad for taking the time you need to take care of yourself! Peace!