love yo' self

hey lovelies,

You know what absolutely sucks? Feeling like you suck. 

*Disclaimer, you don't*

This week has been such a roller-coaster for me. One day I feel like I'm on top of the world, that the endless supply of love that there is in the universe is held right in my heart. The next day, or even sometimes an hour after I feel all that love, I'll feel so empty, like I'll never feel love again. It makes zero sense. And that's because feeling bad about yourself doesn't. It's bullshit. We just shouldn't do it. But we all know if it was that easy, anxiety wouldn't be a thing.

If you struggle with this, my advice to you (and myself) is this: Do the things you love. 

I know that sounds kind of basic and cliche, but it works wonders. Today, I was texting one of my good friends about my not so good day. I told them I would get out of my anxiety even though today it was killer (speak it into existence, amiright). They liked my optimism, and asked me how I usually get out of these moods, and what helps me feel better. Instead of saying my usual yoga, meditation, positive self talk script that I give to myself and others all the time, I actually thought about it. Not that yoga and meditation and being nice to yourself aren't good for you, they're great, but they usually work for me when I'm not already in a funk. What does get me out of my funk is dancing, singing, blasting my jams, and painting. Like all at once. I've never been upset when I was creating something, it's a surefire way for me to get out of my head and live in the moment. So far, anyways. 

If there's something you love doing, that brings your vibe up whenever you do it, go out there and do it! Unless it's hard drugs or something, don't do that. That's not the kind of high we're striving for here. If you love bike riding, god damn it grab that bike! Or cooking, writing, doing nice things for the people you love. Whatever it is that makes your soul happy, go after it. Especially if you have a bunch of responsibilities to take care of. I find that I can't focus on anything if my mind won't stop hurling insults at me. Taking a break can, and probably will, make you more productive.

Anyways, I hope you all have a beautiful day! Feel good about yourself, you are literally made out of stardust. And, as a reminder, taking care of yourself is not selfish, but self-less. We are our best selves to others when we are to ourselves. 

peace and happiness,

ashley 

Social Anxiety, Get Outta Here

Hey lovelies,

This week I wanted to write about something I have struggled with for most of my life, something I feel most of us have felt at one point of our lives. Social anxiety.

In college, we are constantly surrounded by people. Waking up, there's your roommate, sleeping across from you. Going to brush your teeth, there's your friend from across the hall. Going to get dinner, people from all five of your classes. There. Are. People. Everywhere.

Not that seeing friends or acquaintances often is a bad thing, sometimes you just need a break. In college, there never seems to be time for breaks. The cycle of conversations seems to be never-ending.

With this post, I'll share techniques that have proved helpful for me with my social anxiety. Hopefully some, if not all, of these are helpful for you!

DISCLAIMER: This post will probably make me seem like I am this huge ball of anxiety, which is absolutely NOT true (most of the time, anyways lol)

For what seems like my whole life, I’ve struggled with anxiety, both in social settings and in a more general sense. There’s been times where it got worse or better, but in some capacity it has always been there. When I’m having one of my bad days, I get in my head over everything I say or do. I tell myself I’m not good enough, that my friends don’t love me, that I’m weird and just shouldn’t talk. None of those things are true, but telling myself that doesn’t help my anxiety lessen. Trying to rationalize anxiety is a very irrational thing to do, because anxiety is not rational in nature. To fight my anxiety, doing things that nourish my body and spirit really helps me.

While I'm in a social situation that is taxing to me, I do deep breathing (nonchalantly, in a way people can't tell). Slowing down my breathing helps calm my body and mind and is a simple easy way to calm down any jitters you may have.

Essential Oils have been SUPER helpful for me. I keep a small travel bottle with me at all times, and when I am feeling overwhelmed in a social setting, I will excuse myself to somewhere secluded and pull out the oils. You can either keep an actual small bottle with you and drop some onto your wrists and below your nose, or keep a plastic tube (what I have) that stores the oils in them. You pull out the tube that is holding the oils, and either smell inside of the bottle or the tube itself. This has been amazing for calming me down when I feel overwhelmed.

So far, when I am in social settings themselves, these have been the only things that have proven helpful to me. I'll share some things I do either before or after social events that have calmed the pre or post social anxiety jitters.

What calms me when I’m struggling with never ending thoughts is meditation. People usually think that meditation involves not thinking at all by forcing yourself into a calm state. Forcing yourself not to think is a thought itself. True meditation involves sitting in peace with your thoughts, not controlling what you do or don’t think, not judging yourself, and by letting everything be. Just because a thought enters your mind does not mean you need to associate with it. You are so much more than your thoughts. Personally, I like to listen to guided meditations because they give me, sometimes it is hard for my mind not to race. Here is one of my favorite meditations to do when I feel overwhelmed, I hope this help anyone who is struggling!

On the other end of the spectrum, being active also really helps me fight my anxiety. Personally, I love doing yoga (as some of you probably already know from previous blogs). Being active allows me to release any anxious jitters I may have, and usually gets me into a relaxed mind state when I allow myself to exercise long enough.

I hope you all have an amazing rest of your week, and never feel bad for taking the time you need to take care of yourself! Peace!

FINALly be able to handle finals week

Hello lovelies!

Most of us are crazy stressed with final projects, essays, and studying for finals themselves. And if you're not stressed, you're probably lying, let's be real (;

I wanted to focus this weeks blog on ways to cope with end of semester stress, studying tips that have shown helpful to me, and how to gather the strength to tell people no to hanging out when you have papers to work on.

This week has been ridiculously stressful for me, I have so many essays that are all due around the same time, and trying to juggle everything is something I'm getting better at, but I am by no means perfect at it.

What has been proven helpful to me is scheduling my time. I don't even mean an exact schedule, but a loose outline of what you'd like to accomplish in a day, and general time-frames when you'd like to get things done. This way, you don't put too much pressure on yourself, and are able to

When experiencing anxiety about due dates and the actual work that has to be done for projects, often my mind gets foggy and it's almost impossible for me to have coherent thoughts. This leads to sloppy work being done. Whenever you find yourself overwhelmed about schoolwork, I find it better to solve the anxiety by doing things to take care of yourself. For me that involves yoga, meditation, journaling, but what is usually most helpful is taking naps. Naps work best for me at this point in my life because I never get enough sleep, and I need a lot of it to be able to function. Do whatever you think is best for your mind, body, and spirit to get the rest it needs. I am so much more productive when I take care of myself, as most people are. Taking the time to take care of yourself doesn't waste time that could be used for studying, it makes your studying much more worthwhile.

Lastly, don't feel bad saying no to people when you need to use that time for studying, or for taking care of yourself. I find myself tired so often lately, I am constantly around people or constantly studying. I never really have alone time, so when friends ask me to go out after a long day of being at school and studying, I feel so bad saying no. Never feel bad for taking care of yourself! Yesterday I had a very full day of four classes, a doctors appointment, and working on papers. My friend asked me to go out with her around 11, but I knew I wouldn't be able to enjoy it or be able to function in the morning. I almost said yes, but I had to remind myself saying no isn't selfish. Being good to myself allows me to be good to others. Selfless, not selfish.

I wish you all luck with your upcoming finals, never forget about yourself in the madness that is finals week. Peace <3